Do the Next Right Thing
Put the time and energy going to guilt to better use, as you work at being a better person ….
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This moment is all you can count on. Not yesterday when you messed up in some way – we know the story on that – and not some hoped-for tomorrow when you will somehow do everything right. What you can do (ALL you can do, in the final analysis) is do the next right thing now - in the situation you’re in right at this moment. Why not make this moment positive maybe even beautiful, something another person may remember with gratitude and a smile?
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We cannot always repair the damage we have done to other people, to our relationships, to ourselves, or to our reputations. However, every day of our lives, we will be confronted with opportunities to make new choices. Having new choices today means that we do not need to be defined solely by the mistakes we have made in the past. Through these new choices, we can define ourselves differently in the present and in the future. Those of us who are caught up in punishing ourselves endlessly for the choices we have made in the past may miss out on these opportunities.
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No matter what you may have done in the past, you always have this moment to behave with more integrity, honesty, compassion, or wisdom. You can choose now, today, in this very moment, to do the next right thing.
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You don’t have to make far-reaching resolutions to behave in a certain way for the rest of your life. Such resolutions are too general and too ambitious. They do not help you identify what to do differently today, where to do it, and with whom to do it. Moreover, these resolutions are easy to break, and as a result, they set us up for failure. Assume that you are going to be imperfect, that you are never going to make the best choices for yourself one hundred percent of the time. What you need is a way to recover from your mistakes, and a way to focus on the present and the immediate future (e.g., the next hour or the next day).
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Think about all the different parts of your life now, involving the present moment and the most immediate future. Will you have opportunities to make positive choices for yourself, particularly those that benefit other people? It’s almost a certainty that you will.
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Write, call or visit a friend or family member you have been meaning to contact.
Express your gratitude to a friend or family member (or better yet, write a “Gratitude Letter”) acknowledging their admirable qualities or things they did that made a difference in the lives of others.
Offer support of some kind (e.g., conversation, labor, money) to someone you know who is going through a difficult time.
Volunteer your time to a charity, religious institution, political campaign or human services organization
Apologize or make amends for past behavior towards a friend or family member
Be especially courteous and friendly towards the next person who waits on you in a store or serves you in a restaurant.
Do some physical chores for a friend or neighbor who has significant limitations
Many of you will have better ideas: If you do, please share them by entering a comment below.
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As I reread this blog entry, I was worried that I made it all sound too easy, reminding myself that I don’t follow my own advice often enough. Way too many chances to do good works slip through my fingers all the time. As I write this, I’m keenly aware of the sympathy card I had hoped to send to someone who recently lost her husband, still as blank as the day I bought it. Regardless of the missed opportunities, I think it’s still a worthy aspirational goal for us to make more positive choices when we can. As the old adage goes, we’re shooting for progress, not perfection.
I think I’ll finish writing that card right now ….